Showing posts with label John C Maxwell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John C Maxwell. Show all posts

Nine Things You Simply Must Do - By Dr. John C. Maxwell


By Dr. John C. Maxwell

Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper are two of the most popular media personalities in America. Yet,
their backgrounds hardly could be more dissimilar. Oprah was born to unmarried teenage parents in rural
Mississippi. Anderson’s mother was fashionable railroad heiress, Gloria Vanderbilt, and his father was a
successful writer/editor in Manhattan. Oprah grew up in poverty, spending her childhood in the inner-city
ghettoes of Milwaukee. Anderson was born into wealth. He appeared with his mom on The Tonight Show
when he was three, and he modeled for Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Macy’s as a child.

Yet, for all of their differences (background, race, and gender), Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper
have unmistakable similarities. At some level, they resemble each other. They have an aura of success
that identifies one with the other.

For example, both Oprah and Anderson Cooper consistently deliver. Whether it’s a talk show, a book
club, or a cause she has adopted, we can rely on Oprah’s candor, inspiring energy, and excellence. The
same consistency can be attributed to Anderson Cooper. One night he’s reporting from New York, the
next night from Cairo, and he’s in London the day after that. Yet, when we turn on CNN, we can count on
him to be poised, polished, and deliver the news with excellence.
 
What is it about successful people, like Oprah and Anderson Cooper, who, although completely different
in background and style, are almost identical in their approach to work and life? In his book, 9 Things You
Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life, Dr. Henry Cloud passes along his observations of nine
principles commonly practiced by the successful people he knows. The book drips with leadership
application, and I would like to take this lesson to summarize Dr. Cloud’s insights.
 
Principle #1: Dig It Up
Each person has a treasure trove of ability inside of them. Everyone has dreams and desires lodged
within their soul. Why do some people dig deep and take hold of their dreams while others let them drift
away?
 
According to Dr. Cloud, successful people give sustained attention to what stirs within them. They find
outlets for their passions. Exercising their strengths is non-negotiable.
 
Principle #2: Pull the Tooth
Many people I know have an irrational fear of the dentist’s office. The idea of someone poking and
prodding in their mouth fills them with dread. Amazingly, some people are afraid to the point where they
would rather suffer discomfort day after day rather than undergo the temporary pain of a visit to the
dentist.
 
As Dr. Cloud has observed, successful people go to the dentist. They face their fears and make the
appointment. They pull the tooth that is causing the nagging ache and, by enduring the pain, they come
out better on the other side.
 
Successful people refuse to carry their baggage through life. They confront their hurt, disappointment,
and anger early, and they seek emotional freedom from life’s injuries. Likewise, successful people quickly
recover when they fail. Rather than succumbing to a downward spiral of disappointment (or even
depression) they come to terms with the failure, make course adjustments to their lives, and move on.
 
Principle #3: Play the Movie
Dr. Cloud recommends the exercise of playing a movie of your life in which you are the hero or heroine.
What traits does your character have? What happens during the plot of the movie? Who do you starring
alongside you? How does your movie inspire the people in the theater?
 
Most people live their life and then look at it. Do the opposite. Look at your life and then live it. Envision
and step toward the future you want to experience. Don’t wake up one day to realize that your life is like a
B-grade movie—you don’t want to leave in the middle, but you would never want to watch it again!
 
Principle #4: Do Something
Dr. Cloud’s fourth principle is short and to the point: successful people do something. They initiate,
create, and generate. Successful leaders are proactive as opposed to reactive. “They do not see
themselves as victims of circumstances,” Cloud writes, “But as active participants who take steps to
influence outcomes.” Their days and their lives are controlled by internal motivations rather than external
currents.
 
In a similar vein, successful people take ownership for their destinations in life. They don’t assign blame;
they welcome responsibility. They refuse to cede their freedom to others and live dependently. The
successful person has done leadership’s toughest task—mastered the art of self-leadership. The benefit
of leading yourself well is that you don’t have to rely on others to provide direction for your life. You get to
plan the course.
 
Principle #5: Act Like An Ant
“Go to the ant, you sluggard;
Consider its ways and be wise!
It has no commander,
No over seer or ruler,
Yet it stores its provisions in summer
And gathers its food at the harvest.”
-Proverbs 6:6-8
Dr. Cloud points to the ant to develop another principle of success. Three lessons stand out from the
metaphor of the ant. First, they appreciate the ethic of hard work. Their lives are a flurry of constant
activity as they tirelessly search for food. Second, ants refuse to give up. They never abandon the hunt,
crawling through cracks and crevices in their pursuit of a morsel. Third, ants understand the value of
compounding. Grain by grain an ant builds the hill that becomes its home, and crumb by crumb they
accumulate storehouses of food.
 
Principle #6: Hate Well
In his writing, Dr. Cloud talks about focusing feelings of anger constructively to solve problems or end
injustice. As he develops his idea of “hating well,” he distinguishes between subjective hate and objective
hate.
 
Subjective hate is toxic. Dr. Cloud describes it as, “a pool of feelings and attitudes that resides in our soul,
waiting for expression. It is not directed at anything specific or caused on any given day by any specific
object. It is already there, sort of like an infection of the soul.” Subjective hate poisons and corrupts the
person who houses it.
 
On the contrary, objective hate can be described as anger with a purpose. Objective hate protects by
standing in opposition to dishonesty, exploitation, or deceit. Objective hate may spark entrepreneurship.
In fact, many successful businesses have begun as a result of the founder’s hatred of poor service or
shoddy quality.
 
Principle #7: Don’t Play Fair
Fairness says “an eye for an eye,” or “a tooth for a tooth.” Fairness weighs all actions in a balance and
continuously moves to equilibrium. The rule of fairness means good actions deserve kind responses, and
bad behavior deserves punishment.
 
In Dr. Cloud’s opinion, living in accordance with fairness will destroy every relationship in life. With
everyone keeping score of favors bestowed and received, eventually someone will feel victimized when a
good deed goes unreturned. As a leader, I’ve learned the high road is the only road to travel on. Don’t
treat others according to what they deserve; treat them even better than you would prefer to be treated.
By doing so, you’ll keep integrity and avoid sticky accusations or petty arguments.
 
Principle #8: Be Humble
“Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.”
-Ezra Taft Benson
In Dr. Cloud’s estimation, successful people have a healthy dose of humility. Humility has an internal and
external component. Internally, humility comes when we admit our errors, and open ourselves to
instruction. Externally, humility is gained when we show patience for the faults of others, and when we are
quick to shine the spotlight on the successes of others.
 
Principle #9: Upset the Right People
A person’s success will always be inhibited if he or she tries to please all of the people all of the time. I
like how Dr. Cloud explains the principle of upsetting the right people:
Do not try to avoid upsetting people; just make sure that you are upsetting the right ones. If the kind,
loving, responsible, and honest people are upset with you, then you had better look at the choices you
are making. But if the controlling, hot and cold, irresponsible or manipulative people are upset with you,
then take courage!

Be likeable and be gracious, but don’t sacrifice your identity or values for the sake of harmony.

Review: 9 Things You Simply Must Do for Success
Principle #1 – Dig It Up
Principle #2 – Pull the Tooth
Principle #3 – Play the Movie
Principle #4 – Do Something
Principle #5 – Act Like an Ant
Principle #6 – Hate Well
Principle #7 – Don’t Play Fair
Principle #8 – Be Humble
Principle #9 – Upset the Right People

Travelling Through Life by Dr.John C. Maxwell

Here are Tips from Dr. John C. Maxwell, recognized Leadership expert, where he gave 10 solid tips for traveling through life.
Traveling Through Life – Dr.John C. Maxwell
Tip #1: Travel Light. - You can always tell the difference between an experienced traveler and a new one… by the size of their luggage. John mentioned that too many people travel through life with a lot of emotional baggage, which they’ve not yet learned to let go.
Traveling light is about finding your priorities… carrying only the essential stuff… Oh yes… and asking for forgiveness along the way.
Tip #2: Take someone with you - Life is about relationships. Isn’t it awfully lonely to travel through life alone?
Maybe you’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean that you should close your heart. It only means that you know the characteristics you don’t want in a partner/friend.
Let time heal your heart and then find someone to travel through life with.
Tip #3: Follow The Road Map - Have a game plan. If you do not know where you are going, then how can you hope to get there?
It is important to know where you are (A) by doing self-reflection everyday and where you want to go (B) by setting goals… but do not succumb to “destination disease”. Life is not only about reaching B. Life HAPPENS between A and B! Enjoy the journey…
Tip #4: Take The High Road -”Those who are instruments of grace to others become recipients of grace to themselves”.
John talks about the necessity of having a life stance - your overall frame of reference - your attitude, assumptions and expectations of yourself, others around you and life.
Taking the high road means that you do not keep score. You learn to forgive others and do your best to help the people around you.
Tip #5: Stop And Ask For Directions -Most people are too stubborn or proud to do that. They would rather go around in circles than stop to ask someone for directions.
Remember that no matter the direction you are heading, it’s very likely that someone else has already been there and done that. Be prepared to ask for advice… and shortcut your learning curve.
Tip #6: Make A U-Turn When Needed -”Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” You can’t turn back time when you have made a mistake… but you can change directions and make a U-turn before it’s too late.
Sometimes, we may find ourselves headed into a dead end… the sooner we realize we have to make a change and do it, the more likely we will find ourselves back on a safe route.
Remember… not changing when you have to may lead to death!
Tip #7: Appreciate The Detours - Life is not a smooth one way street. Along the way, you will meet obstacles and challenges. Appreciate and learn to take the detours.
I love the way John reframed “Problems”. He said that problems are…
Predictors
Reminders
Opportunities
Blessings
Lessons
Everywhere
Messages
Solvable
Could you see how that can be really empowering?
Tip #8: Take Pictures - Create Memories.
John suggests that you should….
Work like you don’t need the money
Dance like no one is watching
Sing like no one is listening
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Live like it’s heaven on earth
How beautiful is that?
Tip #9: Travel The Extra Mile - And then some…Who knows what you would find in that extra mile? Another adventure… A beautiful sight… A lovely encounter… An enchanting lover…
Go the extra mile… it may be worth the whole journey.
Tip #10: Stop To Smell The Roses - Remember not to rush though life… Take some time out to appreciate its beauty… Enjoy the butterflies’ dance… and last but not least, be grateful… for everyone and everything in your life.