Showing posts with label communication skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication skills. Show all posts

Creating a Powerful Elevator Talk

How to deal with Workplace Conflicts

How to Deal with Workplace Conflict

See more presentations by shabbarsuterwala | Upload your own PowerPoint presentations

Communication Skills - Open Ended Questions

If you're a Parent or a Manager you'll find this article to be good, practical, usable tips that you can apply right away with your kids or your subordinates and I encourage you to practice it out and see the difference.
"Ask Questions that are Open-Ended rather than Closed-Ended."

For example at home your ask your child a very simple question: "Are you having a good time?" or "Did you have a good day?" "Did you like the food?" are close-ended questions. They only require a "yes" or "no" answer. "What things did you enjoy doing?" is open-ended; As is "What was good about your day?" or "Tell me about your favorite food."
Open-ended questions invites your children to engage in a dialogue with you. They allow your kids to give more thoughtful responses.The more we can allow our children to do things for themselves, the more strongly we communicate the message that, "I believe in your ability and growing skills."
As you get in the habit of using the language of responsibility, you'll be able to see tangible evidence of your children's growing sense of independence. When we ask our children for their ideas and suggestions
we are often surprised by the creative practical solutions they present. Our kids are more likely to follow through with the solutions when they have helped create them.
Friends, isn't the same true for Organizations also?
For example, You as a Boss / Manager instead of asking close ended questions to which the down line is indifferent, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think we can do on customer service issue? " or "Tell me your views about the improvement in the product". By doing so you would start being a Leader and your team would get a feeling of ownership.
"Yes", asking open-ended question will require your conscious effort and a lot of alertness.
So the next time you are dealing with your child or your subordinate/employee/down line just take a PAUSE and ask the right OPEN ENDED QUESTION, and you will find your RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES tremendously.
Pls. share your feedback on the same. 

NLP Anchoring

Learn NLP Anchoring Techniques

NLP anchoring is one of the most popular NLP techniques out there because of it’s power and immediate impact. With it you can choose to deliberately put yourself in any chosen state such as happiness, energetic, confident, cheerful, creative, calm etc in the blink of an eye.

The term NLP anchors came about by liking the impact of the technique to that of a ship’s anchor. What is the use of a ship anchor? It is to keep a ship in place when it is not sailing. This is to prevent the ocean waves from pushing the ship away. The anchor locks the ship in a specific location.

In the same way, NLP anchors does to us what a ship anchor does to a ship. It keeps us in a certain place (or rather a certain state for a more accurate depiction). By setting up NLP anchors to different states/mood, whenever we trigger that anchor we will immediately be brought to that state.

Starting a Business - Training Session One

Starting a Business

1. The First Step..
• Ask a lot questions to yourself
• Do a Self Introspection and Self Assessment

2. Do a Self Assessment & Introspect
• What are your talents?
• What do you like to do?
• What experience do you have?
• What are your interests?
• Do you have managerial skills?
• Are you a decision-maker?
• What is your energy level?
• Are you a self-starter?
• Are you self motivated?

3. What other Questions should you ask?
• Are you Prepared?
• Are you Prepared in terms of the hard work, long hours, long days
• Do you have a network of people around you to support you

4. Do this Market Research
1. Do you have clarity of your Business Idea?
2. Is there a need for your business idea?
3. Is there a gap in the market? Or Is there a market in the gap?
4. Who is the competition?
5. What can you do better than your competition?
6. Who is your customer?
7. Are there legal restrictions?
8. Where will you locate the business?
9. Will you need financing?
10. What legal form of operation should you choose?

5. Also Research for these questions
1. How much money will you need (start-up and on-going)?
2. What are the employee needs?
3. What price will you charge?
4. How will you locate your suppliers?
5. What will your equipment needs be?
6. Can you make money with your idea?
7. Can you make a living from this business?
8. What type of records do you need to keep?
9. Who can help you get started?
10. Can you envision you business idea in action?

6. Have you considered the Risks?
• The Financial factor
• The Time allocation for the business
• Is it viable – workable
• How will you survive and how will the basic day to day needs be taken care of you and your family
• Consider the worst that can happen after you start

7. Plan you Business
• When will you launch your business – the dates?
• Where do you want your business to go?
• Where should your business be in next three years?
• And what are the steps you will take to be there?

8. What is your Goal?
• What should happen in terms of:
• Growth
• Income
• Turnover
• Profits
• Write it down – NOW
• This is your Real Goal

9. Share your Business Plan
• Talk to your near and dear ones – Family, Friends, Network anyone and everyone you know
• Get Ideas
• Brainstorm
• Talk about your PLAN
• Take Feedback
• Learn from others sharing their experience’s

10. This is your Business Plan
• You need not be a MBA or a CA to make a Business plan
• It will be your Story
• Your Passion
• Your Future
• Your Numbers
• So Start Planning

11. Important is Writing it Down
• “People do not plan to fail, they fail to plan”
• Take a Book and a Pen and start writing down all the ideas that come to your mind to achieve your Goal
• It need not be structured at this point
• Important is to get going than getting it right

12. What Next….?
• First complete all the step mentioned in this Session 1
• Work and Share it
• Think about it
• Analyze it
• Wish you all the best to Fly High.. To make your dreams come true.

13. Knowing is Knowing, Doing is Doing, Knowing and Doing are two different things

14. Disclaimer This material is for Learning purpose only. Every effort has been made to ensure that this material is free from error or problems. This is with an understanding that though I’ve worked hard and long to provide accurate information, I can’t take any responsibility for loss or action to any individual or corporation acting, or not acting, as a result of the material presented here. This is the personal work of Shabbar Suterwala’s Leaders Workshop. If you would like more information on this material or any other book, presentation, workshop by Shabbar Suterwala or Leaders Workshop please call +91-9892225864 or email:

Parents: Teaching your Teenager not to talk back to You

“No matter what I say, she always argues with me. Nothing I say or do seem to be right for her, there is always something to point out and criticize.

I know it is good for her to have her own opinion, but I don’t really know if this type of back talk is healthy, or am I doing something wrong? Please help!”

Do these words sound familiar to you, the parent of a teen? I know this is a scene right out of my own home, where my son and I have countless arguments, which almost always end up with one or the other of us walking away in a great huff.

If you want to know how to teach your teen not to back talk at you, then read on:

  • Never forget; it takes two people to argue; your teen cannot argue by herself and with herself. The argument involves both of you equally, and what you can do is state your case ONCE, and then either stand there and hear her out when she argues and finds ways to pint out that what you are saying is wrong, or simply walk out of the room quietly. This will give her the idea that your word is final, and that you will not change it for anything. All her arguing will not affect you. Practice doing this many times, she will eventually get the hang of it.
  • You must develop the patience and fortitude to let your teen argue with what you have said, as she will automatically do, no matter what, and not say anything. Some questions like ‘Why do I have to do it?” do not actually need an answer; all she is doing is complaining that she has to do it. If you say, “Because I say so,” then it will undoubtedly cause an escalation in the already frayed tempers in the room.
  • Teens do love to argue, and since this will be a common occurrence in your home over the next few years, why don’t you take it positively and lay down a set of rules for arguments? For example, you can say that you will not allow name calling, shouting, screaming, and walking out, slamming doors, crying.
  • You could teach your teen how to argue, by listening to her quietly, and then, only then, starting on what you have to say. This will teach her a valuable lesson in conducting negotiations later in her life, and she will thank you for it at that time.
  • Talking back is addictive to your child, and when she finds that she has gotten away with it once then she will try it again and again. Handle it wisely right at the beginning, and make sure that she knows you will not tolerate this behavior. Reinforce it by cutting off her privileges and give them back to her if she shows an improvement.

With patience and constant effort, it is indeed possible to teach your teen not to argue and talk back at you.

Stress Management Techniques for People Searching for Answers

By Shabbar Suterwala: Guide on How to Mange Stress

Stress Management is more than anger management and relaxation. It is self management. There are many different ways to manage stress. I have compiled the various stress management techniques that are simple and most effective to follow and practice. Please feel free to use as many as you can, keeping an open mind, so you can have a collection of techniques that are the most effective for you.

  1. Feel Good about your Self
  2. Take Care of your Body
  3. Develop the Right Attitude
  4. Develop the Right Environment
  5. Short Tips for Busy People

1. Feel Good about your Self

If you want to bring down your level of stress level in a matter of minutes, these techniques will help you. Use them as needed to feel better quickly; practice them regularly over time and gain even greater benefits.

Ø Deep Breathing from the Abdomen

Ø Meditation

Ø Having a dose of Laughter

Ø Progressive Muscular Relaxation

Ø Listening to light music

Ø Practicing Yoga

Ø Aerobic Exercises

Ø Creative Visualization

2. Take Care of Body

When we're stressed, we don't always take care of our bodies, which can lead to even more stress. Here are some important ways to take care of yourself and keep stress levels lower.

Ø Eat Healthy low fats – high protein meals

Ø Have six to eight hours of regular sleep

Ø Exercise regularly

Ø Develop a Hobby

Ø Have healthy Sex Life

3. Develop the Right Attitude

Attitude plays a great role in managing stress. Much of your experience of stress has a lot to do with your attitude and the way you perceive your life's events. Here are some resources to help you maintain a stress-relieving attitude.

Ø Let go your Ego

Ø Have a Optimistic approach to life

Ø Do not react under pressure

Ø Stop Worrying about things not in your control

Ø Accept that everything cannot be perfect

Ø Find an opportunity in every problem

Ø Say good things to your self – affirmations

Ø Have a health sense of humour

4. Develop the Right Environment

Having ambiance and pleasant environment make stress management very easy. Your physical and emotional surroundings can impact your stress levels in subtle but significant ways. Here are several ways you can change your atmosphere and less your stress.

Ø Clutter free home, office and working desk

Ø Green and Clean surrounding

Ø Light instrumental music

Ø Motivational Posters

Ø Words of Wisdom

5. Short Tips for Busy People

Busy People add a lot of stress to their already stressed life. People who may have more stressors in their lives is because they have more activity in their lives, and less time to devote to stress management. If you're a busy person, these resources can help you to manage stress efficiently in a short amount of time, and eliminate some of what's causing you stress in the first place.

Ø Time Management Tips

Ø Communication Skills

Ø Listening Skills

Ø Managing Priorities

Ø Enhancing Team Work

Ø Enhancing People Skills

Article written by

Shabbar Suterwala

Corporate Soft Skills Trainer, NLP Practitioner, Psychological Counsellor

How to Detect Lies Become a Lie Detector

Introduction to Detecting Lies:

The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.

Warning: Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

Signs of Deception:
Body Language of Lies:
• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying "I love you"
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.
Interactions and Reactions
• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”
• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In otherwords, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.
• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Final Notes:
Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar.

compiled by Shabbar Suterwala

What is Communication...?

What is Communication?

The Word Communication when you think of.. what comes to your mind? It means to talk - yes talking is what people relate to communication. But if you have understood the process of Communication - you will agree that Communication is beyond talking. Its more of a process than just blah .. blah..

Yes, you guessed it right, It involves Listening, Understanding, Reading what is not said or talked, interpretation, Feedback.

At times Communicaiton may also mean - "NO - COMMUNICATION", which means - Point Blank Silence; who says that it is "No Communication" this state does not arise at all - in fact "No Communication" is also Communicating a lot.

I am just amazed at this skill of communication and am working further on exploring the nitty-gritty of What Communication is and what not..

Please do join me in the forray of inputs ............... if you wish to COMMUNICATE it to me; Ofcourse.

Cheers and Regards

Don;t say YES when you want say NO

Hello Friends,

Greetings from Shabbar Suterwala.

Tell me if this sounds familiar someone asks you to do something that you really don't want to do or you honestly don't have time for. It might be a request or an unreasonable request from a friend, a neighbour, a close relative, a familty member, your office colleague or your boss for just working late. But you feel like you will let the other person down if you say no. You feel GUILTY already, and you haven't even responded yet! So you say, "Sure," even though doing so is going to put you under tremendous stress and PRESSURE. You know that you will probably end up resenting this activity, and maybe even ducking some of your responsibilities because your heart's just not in it, but you go ahead and agree anyway.

Why are we so afraid to tell people "NO"? For some reason, we have been taught that "no" is DISRESPECTFUL and even insulting. We seem to value other people's time more than our own -- feeling that we need to bend over backward to accommodate others, even if it inconveniences us. I know we're atoning for the "me" 1980's, but let's be reasonable! "No" is actually one of the healthiest words that can come out of your mouth. When you tell someone "no," you are really saying that you understand and accept your own LIMITS, and don't want to do a shoddy job by overwhelming yourself. That you value your time and priorities and aren't willing to take away from the truly important things in your life. A little selfishness is necessary, if you want to maintain a balanced and sane life!

So how do you say "NO" without insulting the other person, feeling consumed with guilt, or hurting your own credibility? We need to find a way to say "no" without dragging up all of those HIDDEN FEARS they'll think I'm lazy or selfish, that I have no career drive, that I'm not ambitious, that I have no concern for other people. And it's time to give up all of those roles you're so proud of supermom, martyr, hero but are keeping you from finding true peace. Once you've accepted that you have the right (and often responsibility) to turn someone down, you can do it in a way that doesn't seem like a REJECTION. Let me show you how:

Here are 20 ways to "How to say NO" without hurting others

or a simple, straight, direct "NO"

Please share your feedback regarding the same.

Contact for In-House Training on Assertiveness Skills.

With Kind Regards
Shabbar Suterwala
Corporate Soft Skills Trainer and Psychological Counsellor
Ph: +91 989 222 5864