Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts

Inspirational: Michael Pollack: 12 hours in the Taj on 26/11

Building Self Confidence- How to make the perfect first impression


Video Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

The 15 minutes speech by Steve Jobs at the Stanford University is worth the time you will spend listening to. The 3 stories of his personal life are worth listening.. !!



Steve Jobs, CEO Apple Computer - Commencement Address June 12, 2005

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Nine Things You Simply Must Do - By Dr. John C. Maxwell


By Dr. John C. Maxwell

Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper are two of the most popular media personalities in America. Yet,
their backgrounds hardly could be more dissimilar. Oprah was born to unmarried teenage parents in rural
Mississippi. Anderson’s mother was fashionable railroad heiress, Gloria Vanderbilt, and his father was a
successful writer/editor in Manhattan. Oprah grew up in poverty, spending her childhood in the inner-city
ghettoes of Milwaukee. Anderson was born into wealth. He appeared with his mom on The Tonight Show
when he was three, and he modeled for Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, and Macy’s as a child.

Yet, for all of their differences (background, race, and gender), Oprah Winfrey and Anderson Cooper
have unmistakable similarities. At some level, they resemble each other. They have an aura of success
that identifies one with the other.

For example, both Oprah and Anderson Cooper consistently deliver. Whether it’s a talk show, a book
club, or a cause she has adopted, we can rely on Oprah’s candor, inspiring energy, and excellence. The
same consistency can be attributed to Anderson Cooper. One night he’s reporting from New York, the
next night from Cairo, and he’s in London the day after that. Yet, when we turn on CNN, we can count on
him to be poised, polished, and deliver the news with excellence.
 
What is it about successful people, like Oprah and Anderson Cooper, who, although completely different
in background and style, are almost identical in their approach to work and life? In his book, 9 Things You
Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life, Dr. Henry Cloud passes along his observations of nine
principles commonly practiced by the successful people he knows. The book drips with leadership
application, and I would like to take this lesson to summarize Dr. Cloud’s insights.
 
Principle #1: Dig It Up
Each person has a treasure trove of ability inside of them. Everyone has dreams and desires lodged
within their soul. Why do some people dig deep and take hold of their dreams while others let them drift
away?
 
According to Dr. Cloud, successful people give sustained attention to what stirs within them. They find
outlets for their passions. Exercising their strengths is non-negotiable.
 
Principle #2: Pull the Tooth
Many people I know have an irrational fear of the dentist’s office. The idea of someone poking and
prodding in their mouth fills them with dread. Amazingly, some people are afraid to the point where they
would rather suffer discomfort day after day rather than undergo the temporary pain of a visit to the
dentist.
 
As Dr. Cloud has observed, successful people go to the dentist. They face their fears and make the
appointment. They pull the tooth that is causing the nagging ache and, by enduring the pain, they come
out better on the other side.
 
Successful people refuse to carry their baggage through life. They confront their hurt, disappointment,
and anger early, and they seek emotional freedom from life’s injuries. Likewise, successful people quickly
recover when they fail. Rather than succumbing to a downward spiral of disappointment (or even
depression) they come to terms with the failure, make course adjustments to their lives, and move on.
 
Principle #3: Play the Movie
Dr. Cloud recommends the exercise of playing a movie of your life in which you are the hero or heroine.
What traits does your character have? What happens during the plot of the movie? Who do you starring
alongside you? How does your movie inspire the people in the theater?
 
Most people live their life and then look at it. Do the opposite. Look at your life and then live it. Envision
and step toward the future you want to experience. Don’t wake up one day to realize that your life is like a
B-grade movie—you don’t want to leave in the middle, but you would never want to watch it again!
 
Principle #4: Do Something
Dr. Cloud’s fourth principle is short and to the point: successful people do something. They initiate,
create, and generate. Successful leaders are proactive as opposed to reactive. “They do not see
themselves as victims of circumstances,” Cloud writes, “But as active participants who take steps to
influence outcomes.” Their days and their lives are controlled by internal motivations rather than external
currents.
 
In a similar vein, successful people take ownership for their destinations in life. They don’t assign blame;
they welcome responsibility. They refuse to cede their freedom to others and live dependently. The
successful person has done leadership’s toughest task—mastered the art of self-leadership. The benefit
of leading yourself well is that you don’t have to rely on others to provide direction for your life. You get to
plan the course.
 
Principle #5: Act Like An Ant
“Go to the ant, you sluggard;
Consider its ways and be wise!
It has no commander,
No over seer or ruler,
Yet it stores its provisions in summer
And gathers its food at the harvest.”
-Proverbs 6:6-8
Dr. Cloud points to the ant to develop another principle of success. Three lessons stand out from the
metaphor of the ant. First, they appreciate the ethic of hard work. Their lives are a flurry of constant
activity as they tirelessly search for food. Second, ants refuse to give up. They never abandon the hunt,
crawling through cracks and crevices in their pursuit of a morsel. Third, ants understand the value of
compounding. Grain by grain an ant builds the hill that becomes its home, and crumb by crumb they
accumulate storehouses of food.
 
Principle #6: Hate Well
In his writing, Dr. Cloud talks about focusing feelings of anger constructively to solve problems or end
injustice. As he develops his idea of “hating well,” he distinguishes between subjective hate and objective
hate.
 
Subjective hate is toxic. Dr. Cloud describes it as, “a pool of feelings and attitudes that resides in our soul,
waiting for expression. It is not directed at anything specific or caused on any given day by any specific
object. It is already there, sort of like an infection of the soul.” Subjective hate poisons and corrupts the
person who houses it.
 
On the contrary, objective hate can be described as anger with a purpose. Objective hate protects by
standing in opposition to dishonesty, exploitation, or deceit. Objective hate may spark entrepreneurship.
In fact, many successful businesses have begun as a result of the founder’s hatred of poor service or
shoddy quality.
 
Principle #7: Don’t Play Fair
Fairness says “an eye for an eye,” or “a tooth for a tooth.” Fairness weighs all actions in a balance and
continuously moves to equilibrium. The rule of fairness means good actions deserve kind responses, and
bad behavior deserves punishment.
 
In Dr. Cloud’s opinion, living in accordance with fairness will destroy every relationship in life. With
everyone keeping score of favors bestowed and received, eventually someone will feel victimized when a
good deed goes unreturned. As a leader, I’ve learned the high road is the only road to travel on. Don’t
treat others according to what they deserve; treat them even better than you would prefer to be treated.
By doing so, you’ll keep integrity and avoid sticky accusations or petty arguments.
 
Principle #8: Be Humble
“Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.”
-Ezra Taft Benson
In Dr. Cloud’s estimation, successful people have a healthy dose of humility. Humility has an internal and
external component. Internally, humility comes when we admit our errors, and open ourselves to
instruction. Externally, humility is gained when we show patience for the faults of others, and when we are
quick to shine the spotlight on the successes of others.
 
Principle #9: Upset the Right People
A person’s success will always be inhibited if he or she tries to please all of the people all of the time. I
like how Dr. Cloud explains the principle of upsetting the right people:
Do not try to avoid upsetting people; just make sure that you are upsetting the right ones. If the kind,
loving, responsible, and honest people are upset with you, then you had better look at the choices you
are making. But if the controlling, hot and cold, irresponsible or manipulative people are upset with you,
then take courage!

Be likeable and be gracious, but don’t sacrifice your identity or values for the sake of harmony.

Review: 9 Things You Simply Must Do for Success
Principle #1 – Dig It Up
Principle #2 – Pull the Tooth
Principle #3 – Play the Movie
Principle #4 – Do Something
Principle #5 – Act Like an Ant
Principle #6 – Hate Well
Principle #7 – Don’t Play Fair
Principle #8 – Be Humble
Principle #9 – Upset the Right People

Story.. Robby's Night

Robby's Night
True Story Worth Reading !!!

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a formere lementary school music teacher from Des Moines ,Iowa . I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability.. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel but he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, 'My mom's going to hear me play someday.' But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.

I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing. 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came . The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my 'curtain closer.'

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed, then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. 'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought. 'Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. 'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? '


Through the microphone Robby explained: 'Well, Miss Hondorf, Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning and well. .. She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special.'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy . ... Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.

Story: Hare and Tortise with many Morals

This is an age old fable of the tortoise and hare race. Everyone knows who won the race or do you? Well, recently I heard a new version of this story with a new twist. Read this inspirational teamwork story with lessons in teamwork from an age old fable.

1. Once upon a time a tortoise and a hare had an argument about who was faster. They decided to settle the argument with a race. The tortoise and hare both agreed on a route and started off the race. The hare shot ahead and ran briskly for some time. Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought he'd sit under a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race. He sat under the tree and soon fell asleep. The tortoise plodding on overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ. The hare woke up and realized that he'd lost the race.

The moral of the story is that slow and steady wins the race. This is the version of the story that we've all grown up with.


2. But then recently, someone told me a more interesting version of this tortoise and hare story. It continues.

The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some soul-searching. He realized that he'd lost the race only because he had been overconfident, careless and lax. If he had not taken things for granted, there's no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to another race. The tortoise agreed.
This time, the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.

The moral of the story? Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady. If you have two people in your organization, one slow, methodical and reliable, and the other fast and still reliable at what he does, the fast and reliable chap will consistently climb the organizational ladder faster than the slow, methodical chap.

It's good to be slow and steady; but it's better to be fast and reliable.

3. But the story doesn't end here. The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there's no way he can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted. He thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but on a slightly different route. The hare agreed. The tortoise and hare started off. In keeping with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a couple of kilometers on the other side of the river.

The hare sat there wondering what to do. In the meantime the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race.

The moral of the story? First identify your core competency and then change the playing field to suit your core competency.

In an organization, if you are a good speaker, make sure you create opportunities to give presentations that enable the senior management to notice you.
If your strength is analysis, make sure you do some sort of research, make a report and send it upstairs. Working to your strengths will not only get you noticed, but will also create opportunities for growth and advancement.
The story still hasn't ended.

4. The tortoise and hare, by this time, had become pretty good friends and they did some thinking together. Both realized that the last race could have been run much better. So the tortoise and hare decided to do the last race again, but to run as a team this time.

They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. Both the tortoise and hare felt a greater sense of satisfaction than they'd felt earlier.

The moral of the story? It's good to be individually brilliant and to have strong core competencies; but unless you're able to work in a team and harness each other's core competencies, you'll always perform below par because there will always be situations at which you'll do poorly and someone else does well.


Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person with the relevant core competency for a situation take leadership.

There are more lessons to be learnt from this inspirational teamwork story.

Note that neither the tortoise nor hare gave up after failures. The hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure.

The tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as he could. In life, when faced with failure, sometimes it is appropriate to work harder and put in more effort. Sometimes it is appropriate to change strategy and
try something different. And sometimes it is appropriate to do both.

The tortoise and hare also learnt another vital lesson in teamwork. When we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the situation, we perform far better.


When Roberto Goizueta took over as CEO of Coca-Cola in the 1980s, he was faced with intense competition from Pepsi that was eating into Coke's growth. His executives were Pepsi-focused and intent on increasing market share 0.1 per cent a time.
Goizueta decided to stop competing against Pepsi and instead compete against the situation of 0.1 per cent growth.

He asked his executives what was the average fluid intake of an American per day? The answer was 14 ounces. What was Coke's share of that? Two ounces. Goizueta said Coke needed a larger share of that market. The competition wasn't Pepsi. It was the water, tea, coffee, milk and fruit juices that went into the remaining 12 ounces. The public should reach for a Coke whenever they felt like drinking something.

To this end, Coke put up vending machines at every street corner. Sales took a quantum jump and Pepsi has never quite caught up since.

To sum up, the story of the hare and tortoise teaches us many things. Chief among them are that fast and consistent will always beat slow and steady; work to your competencies; pooling resources and working as a team will always beat individual performers; never give up when faced with failure; and finally, compete against the situation, not against a rival.


Words of Wisdom

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.


When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.


The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've every had.


It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.


Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.


It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.


There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.


May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.


Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.


The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.


Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.


Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.


When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


I Asked God

I asked God for strength that I might achieve,
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...

I asked for health, that I might do greater things,
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...

I asked for riches that I might be happy,
I was given poverty that I might be wise…

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men,
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God...

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life,
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...

I got nothing that I asked for-
but everything I had hoped for,
Almost despite myself,
my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men most richly blessed.

Motivational Quotes - What Failure Means ?

Failure doesn't mean- You are a failure,
It means- You have not succeeded.

Failure doesn't mean- You accomplished nothing,
It means- You have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean- That you have been a fool,
It means- You had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean- You've been disgraced,
It means- You were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean- You don't have it,
It means- You have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn't mean- You are inferior,
It means- You are not perfect.

NLP - neuro-linguistic programming - free training introduction, NLP principles and techniques guide

NLP - neuro-linguistic programming - free training introduction, NLP principles and techniques guide

This free introduction to NLP is provided by Robert Smith MBA, a leading international practitioner in neuro-linguistic programming and NLP Master Trainer. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was created in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler, a computer scientist and Gestalt therapist, and Dr John Grinder, a linguist and therapist. Bandler and Grinder invented a process known as 'modelling' that enabled them to study three of the world's greatest therapists: Dr Milton Erickson, father of modern hypnotherapy; Fritz Perls, creator of Gestalt therapy; and Virginia Satir, the mother of modern-day family therapy. They wanted to know what made these therapists effective and to train others in their methods. What is offered today as NLP is the product of this modelling process.

how does nlp optimise individual and organizational performance?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is an extremely powerful concept. It is said by many to contain the most accessible, positive and useful aspects of modern psychology, and so can be helpful in virtually every aspect of personal and inter-personal relations. NLP has many beneficial uses for self-development, and for businesses and organizations; for example NLP enables better communications in customer service, and all types of selling. NLP enables better awareness and control of oneself, better appreciation of the other person's feelings and behavioural style, which in turn enables better empathy and cooperation. NLP improves understanding in all one-to-one communications, especially interviewing and appraisals (whether used by the interviewer or the interviewee). NLP certainly features strongly in facilitative selling. NLP is an enabling tool of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), which is an aspect of multiple intelligence theory. Neuro-Linguistic Programming can also be very helpful for stress management and developing self-belief and assertiveness and confidence. The empathic caring principles of NLP also assist the practical application of ethical and moral considerations (notably achieving detachment and objectivity), and using loving and compassionate ideas (simply, helping people) in work and life generally. These few examples illustrate the significance of NLP as a concept for personal and organizational development.

The experience of undergoing NLP training is a life-changing one for many people, and its techniques offer substantial advantages to people performing most roles in organizations:

  • Directors and executives
  • Managers at all levels
  • Sales people
  • Administrators
  • Engineering and technical staff
  • Customer care operatives
  • Receptionists
  • Secretarial staff
  • Trainers
  • HR and counselling staff

NLP techniques help particularly by making it possible for people to:

  • Set clear goals and define realistic strategies
  • Coach new and existing staff to help them gain greater satisfaction from their contribution
  • Understand and reduce stress and conflict
  • Improve new customer relationship-building and sales performance
  • Enhance the skills of customer care staff and reduce customer loss
  • Improve people's effectiveness, productivity and thereby profitability


nlp operational principles

NLP consists of a set of powerful techniques for rapid and effective behavioural modification, and an operational philosophy to guide their use. It is based on four operational principles, which below these headings are explained in more detail.

1. Know what outcome you want to achieve. (See nlp principle 1 - achieving outcomes.)

2. Have sufficient sensory acuity (acuity means clear understanding) to know if you are moving towards or away from your outcome (See nlp principle 2 - sensory awareness.)

3. Have sufficient flexibility of behaviour so that you can vary your behaviour until you get your outcome. (See nlp principle 3 - changing behaviour.)

4. Take action now. (See nlp principle 4 - time for action)

It is important to have specific outcomes. Many people do not have conscious outcomes and wander randomly through life. NLP stresses the importance of living with conscious purpose. In order to achieve outcomes it is necessary to act and speak in certain ways. NLP teaches a series of linguistic and behavioural patterns that have proved highly effective in enabling people to change the beliefs and behaviours of other people.

In using any of these patterns NLP stresses the importance of continuous calibration of the person or people you are interacting with in order to see if what you are doing is working. If it is not working it is important to do something different. The idea is to vary your behaviour until you get the results you want.

This variation in behaviour is not random. It involves the systematic application of NLP patterns. It is also important to take action, since nothing ever happens until someone takes the initiative. In short, NLP is about thinking, observing and doing to get what you want out of life.

nlp principle 1 - achieving outcomes

The importance of knowing your outcome cannot be stressed enough. Many people do not have conscious outcomes. Others have no idea what they want but know what they don't want. Their life is based on moving away from those things they don't want. NLP stresses the importance of moving towards those things you want. Without outcomes life becomes a process of wandering aimlessly. Once an outcome is determined you can begin to focus on achieving that outcome.

NLP lists certain well-formedness conditions that outcomes should meet. The first of these is that the outcome needs to be stated in positive terms. This means that the outcome must be what you want and not what you don't want to happen. Outcomes must be capable of being satisfied. It is both logically and practically impossible to give someone the negation of an experience. You can't engage in the process of 'not doing'. You can only engage in the process of doing.

The second well-formedness condition for outcomes is that the outcome must be testable and demonstrable in sensory experience. There must be an evidence procedure. Unless this is the case, there is no way to measure progress towards the achievement of the outcome. With an evidence procedure for the outcome it is possible to determine whether or not you are making progress towards achieving the outcome.

Third, the desired state must be sensory specific. You must be able to say what you would look like, sound like and feel like if you achieved the outcome.

Fourth, the outcome or desired state must be initiated and maintained by the subject. This places the locus (ie position) of control and responsibility for achieving the outcome with the subject and not with someone else. It is not a well-formed outcome when someone else does something or changes in some way. All you can do is have an outcome in which you can change yourself or your behaviour so as to bring about a change in someone else.

Fifth, the outcome must be appropriately and explicitly contextualised. This means that outcomes must not be stated as universals. You must never want either 'all the time' of 'never', but only under specific circumstances. In NLP we always strive to create more choice and never to take choice or reduce the number of possible responses. The goal instead is to make the choices or responses available in the appropriate circumstances.

Sixth, the desired outcome must preserve any positive product of the present state. If this is not the case then symptom substitution may occur.

Seventh and finally, the outcome or desired state must be ecologically sound. You should consider the consequences for yourself and for other people and not pursue outcomes that lead to harm to yourself or other people.

nlp principle 2 - sensory awareness

Once you know your outcome you must next have sufficient sensory acuity to know if you are moving towards it or not. NLP teaches the ability to calibrate or 'read' people. This involves the ability to interpret changes in muscle tone, skin colour and shininess, lower lip size and breathing rate and location. The NLP practitioner uses these and other indications to determine what effect they are having on other people. This information serves as feedback as to whether the other person is in the desired state. An important and often overlooked point is to know to stop when the other person is in the state that you desire.

nlp principle 3 - changing behaviour

The third operational principle of NLP is to vary your behaviour until you get the response you want.

If what you are doing isn't working, then you need to do something else. You should use your sensory acuity to determine if what you are doing is leading you in the desired direction of not. It what you are doing is leading towards your outcome, then you should continue. If, on the other hand, what you are doing is leading away from your goals, then you should do something else.

nlp principle 4 - time for action

The fourth and final operational principle of NLP is to take action now. There is no place for the slogan 'Complacency rules, and I don't care.' NLP is about taking action now to change behaviour for yourself and for others, now and in the future. So, to use another catchphrase: 'Don't delay; act today.'

nlp presuppositions

There are certain presuppositions underlying NLP. These are things that are presupposed in effective communication. Some of these are as follows. Below these headings each presupposition is explained in more detail.

1. The meaning of a communication is the response you get.

2. The map is not the territory.

3. Language is a secondary representation of experience.

4. Mind and body are parts of the same cybernetic system and affect each other.

5. The law of requisite variety (also known as the first law of cybernetics - cybernetics is the science of systems and controls in animals, including humans, and machines) states that in any cybernetic system the element or person in the system with the widest range of behaviours or variability of choice will control the system.

6. Behaviour is geared towards adaptation.

7. Present behaviour represents the very best choice available to a person.

8. Behaviour is to be evaluated and appreciated or changed as appropriate in the context presented.

9. People have all the resources they need to make the changes they want.

10. 'Possible in the world' or 'possible for me' is only a matter of how.

11. The highest quality information about other people is behavioural.

12. It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self.

13. There is no such thing as failure; there is only feedback.

nlp presupposition 1 - meaning equals response

In communication it is usually assumed that you are transferring information to another person. You have information that 'means' something to the other person and you intend for the other person to understand what it is you intend to communicate.

Frequently a person assumes that if they 'say what they mean to say', their responsibility for the communication is over. Effective communicators realise that their responsibility doesn't end when they finish talking. They realise that, for practical purposes, what they communicate is what the other person thinks they say and not what they intend to say. Often the two are quite different.

In communication it is important what the other person thinks you say and how they respond. This requires that the person pays attention to the response they are getting. If it is not the response they want, then they need to vary their own communication until they get the desired response.

There are several major sources of 'misunderstanding' in communication. The first arises from the fact that each person has a different life experience associated with each word in the language. Frequently, what one person means by a word (their complex equivalence for that word) may be something different from what another person means by it. The second misunderstanding arises from the failure to realise that a person's tone of voice and facial expression also communicate information, and that the other person may respond to these as much as they do to what is said. As the old saying goes: 'Actions speak louder than words,' and in NLP people are trained that when the two are in conflict, the person should pay more attention to the actions.

nlp presupposition 2 - map and territory

Good communicators realise that the representations they use to organise their experience of the world ('map') are not the world ('territory').

It is important to distinguish between several semantic levels. First there is the world. Second comes the person's experience of the world. This experience is the person's 'map' or 'model' of the world and is different for each person. Every individual creates a unique model of the world and thus lives in a somewhat different reality from everyone else. You do not operate directly on the world but on your experience of it. This experience may or may not be correct. To the extent that your experience has a similar structure to the world it is correct and this accounts for its usefulness.

A person's experience, map, model or representation of the world determines how they will perceive the world and what choices they will see as available to them. Many NLP techniques involve you changing your representation of the world to make it more useful and to bring it more into line with the way the world actually is.

nlp presupposition 3 - language and experience

Language is a secondary representation of experience.

Language is at a third semantic level. First is the stimulus coming from the word. Second is the person's representation of experience of that stimulus. Third is the person's description of that experience by way of language. Language is not experience but a representation of it. Words are merely arbitrary tokens used to represent things the person sees, hears or feels. People who speak other languages use different words to represent the same things that English speakers see, hear or feel. Also, since each person has a unique set of things that they have seen, heard and felt in their lives, their words have different meanings from each of them.

People are able to communicate effectively to the degree that these meanings are similar. When they are too dissimilar, problems in communication begin to arise.

nlp presupposition 4 - body and mind affect each other

Mind and body are parts of the same cybernetic system and affect each other. There is no separate 'mind' and no separate 'body'. Both words refer to aspects of the same 'whole' or 'gestalt', They act as one and they influence each other in such a way that there is no separation.

Anything that happens in one part of a cybernetic system, such as a human being, will affect all other parts of that system. This means that the way a person thinks affects how they feel and that the condition of their physical body affects how they think. A person's perceptual input, internal thought process, emotional process, physiological response and behavioural output all occur both simultaneously and through time.

In practical terms, this means that a person can change how they think either by directly changing how they think or by changing their physiology or other feelings. Likewise, a person can change their physiology or their emotions by changing how they think. One important corollary of this, which will be explored later, is the importance of visualisation and mental rehearsal in improving the conduct of any activity.

nlp presupposition 5 - widest range of behaviours or choices controls the system

Control in human systems refers to the ability to influence the quality of a person's own and other people's experience in the moment and through time.

The person with the greatest flexibility of behaviour - that is, the number of ways of interacting - will control the system. Choice is always preferable to no choice, and more choice is always preferable to less choice. This also relates to the third general principle of NLP, mentioned previously. This principle is that a person needs to vary their behaviour until they get their desired outcome. If what you are doing is not working, vary the behaviour and do something else. Anything else is better than continuing with what doesn't work. Keep varying your behaviour until you find something that works.

nlp presupposition 6 - behaviour and adaptation

Behaviour is geared towards adaptation. A person's behaviour is determined by the context in which that behaviour originates.

Your reality is defined by your perceptions of the world. The behaviour a person exhibits is appropriate to their reality. All of a person's behaviour, whether good or bad, is an adaptation. Everything is useful in some context. All behaviour is or was adaptive, given the context in which it was learned. In another context it may not be appropriate. People need to realise this and change their behaviour when it is appropriate to do so.

nlp presupposition 7 - present behaviour is the best choice

Behind every behaviour is a positive intent. A person makes the best choice available to them at any moment in time, given who the person is and based on all their life experiences and the choices they are aware of. If offered a better choice they will take it.

In order to change someone's inappropriate behaviour it is necessary to give them other choices. Once this is done they will behave accordingly. NLP has techniques for providing these additional choices. Also, in NLP we never take away choices. We only provide more choices and explicitly contextualise the existing choices.

nlp presupposition 8 - context of behaviour

You need to evaluate your behaviour in terms of what you are capable of becoming. You need to strive to become all that you are capable of being.

nlp presupposition 9 - resources to change

People have all they need to make changes they want to make. The task is to locate or access those resources and to make them available in the appropriate context. NLP provides techniques to accomplish this task.

What this means in practice is that people do not need to spend time trying to gain insight into their problems or in developing resources to deal with their problems. They already have all the resources they need to deal with their problems. All that is necessary is to access these resources and transfer them to the current time frame.

nlp presupposition 10 - the how of possibility

If any other human being is capable of performing some behaviour, then it is possible for you to perform it, too. The process of determining 'how' you do it is called 'modelling', and it is the process by which NLP came into being in the first place.

nlp presupposition 11 - behaviour speaks louder than words

Listen to what people say but pay more attention to what they do. If there is any contradiction between the two then rely on the behaviour. Look for behavioural evidence of change and don't just reply on people's words

nlp presupposition 12 - distinguish behaviour and self

It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self. In other words, just because someone 'screws up' on something it doesn't mean that they are a 'screw-up'. Behaviour is what a person says, does or feels at any moment in time. This is not a person's self, however. A person's self is greater than their behaviours.

nlp presupposition 13 - feedback, not failure

It is more valuable for a person to view their experience in terms of a learning frame than in terms of a failure frame. If a person doesn't succeed in something, that doesn't mean they have failed. It just means that they have discovered one way not to do that particular thing. The person then needs to vary their behaviour until they find a way to succeed.

nlp techniques and definitions

NLP consists of a set of powerful techniques to effect change. Some of these techniques are as follows, with their definitions:

anchoring

The process of associating an internal response with some external trigger so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed by activating the trigger.

anchors

These may be naturally occurring or set up deliberately. They may be established in all representational systems and serve to control both positive and negative internal states.

stacking anchors

The process of associating a series of events with one specific anchor so as to strengthen the intensity of the subject's response to a specific anchor.

collapsing anchors

A process of neutralising negative states by triggering two incompatible responses at the same time.

chaining anchors

A process by which a series of anchors is created to lead from an undesired state through a series of intermediate states to a desired state.

associated state

Being fully present in a state so as to experience the kinesthetics of it. For past states this involves being in the experience looking from the perspective of the person's own eyes.

dissociated state

Recreating a past experience from the perspective of an onlooker or observer. This means the person does not re-experience the original emotion but instead experiences the emotions of an observer.

double kinesthetic dissociation

The process of watching yourself watching a film of a past experience. This is used in cases of phobias and extreme psychic trauma.

calibration

The process of reading a subject's internal responses in an ongoing interaction by pairing them with observable behavioural cues.

change history

A process of guiding a subject to re-experience a series of past situations by the use of selective anchoring. Resource states are developed for each situation and are installed in the subject's repertoire in order to change the significance of the past events.

rapport

The process of establishing a relationship with a subject that is characterised by harmony, understanding and mutual confidence. This is done by reducing to a minimum the perceived difference at the unconscious level.

reframing

A process used to separate a problematic behaviour from the positive intention to the internal part responsible for that behaviour. New choices of behaviour are established that maintain the positive intent but don't have the problematic by-products.

strategy

A set of explicit mental and behavioural steps used to achieve a specific outcome. This is represented by a specific sequence of representational systems used to carry out the specific steps.

submodalities

The subclassification of external experience. The decomposing into its components of a picture, sound or feeling.

This free NLP article is provided for this website by Robert Smith, and this is gratefully acknowledged. This material can be used freely for personal or organizational development purposes but is not to be sold or published in any form.

Robert Smith biography - Robert Smith MBA is a widely sought-after international consultant renowned for his enthusiastic motivational and forthright style. He is a Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, specialising in leadership development and 'Solution Focused' consultancy. He has over 20 years experience developing leaders in a wide range of settings. Robert's early years of consultancy were mainly working for IBM in Europe, Middle East and Africa on their leadership development programmes. Robert has a remarkable skill set including being a psychotherapist (UKCP registered) and is able, by using the latest psychological methods, to help people remove limiting beliefs relating to achievement and success. Robert has worked with the Motorola MBA intake programme and trained the United Nations peacekeeping force in Bosnia. He also worked closely with the British Foreign Office and the British Armed Forces, and has worked with many of the top organizations in the world including Cable and Wireless, the Civil Aviation Authority, Solvay Pharmaceuticals, TNT and Alstom. In more recent years Robert Smith has become a highly respected international trainer enabling the development of trainers, coaches, consultants and organizational leaders, across more than 40 different nationalities. He now runs a training centre in Turkey as well as maintaining training and coaching activities in the UK.

Robert can be contacted via email: robert-smith at freeuk.com, and also via his website treaclenlptraining.co.uk.


NLP - neuro-linguistic programming - free training introduction, NLP principles and techniques guide

NLP - neuro-linguistic programming - free training introduction, NLP principles and techniques guide

This free introduction to NLP is provided by Robert Smith MBA, a leading international practitioner in neuro-linguistic programming and NLP Master Trainer. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was created in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler, a computer scientist and Gestalt therapist, and Dr John Grinder, a linguist and therapist. Bandler and Grinder invented a process known as 'modelling' that enabled them to study three of the world's greatest therapists: Dr Milton Erickson, father of modern hypnotherapy; Fritz Perls, creator of Gestalt therapy; and Virginia Satir, the mother of modern-day family therapy. They wanted to know what made these therapists effective and to train others in their methods. What is offered today as NLP is the product of this modelling process.

how does nlp optimise individual and organizational performance?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is an extremely powerful concept. It is said by many to contain the most accessible, positive and useful aspects of modern psychology, and so can be helpful in virtually every aspect of personal and inter-personal relations. NLP has many beneficial uses for self-development, and for businesses and organizations; for example NLP enables better communications in customer service, and all types of selling. NLP enables better awareness and control of oneself, better appreciation of the other person's feelings and behavioural style, which in turn enables better empathy and cooperation. NLP improves understanding in all one-to-one communications, especially interviewing and appraisals (whether used by the interviewer or the interviewee). NLP certainly features strongly in facilitative selling. NLP is an enabling tool of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), which is an aspect of multiple intelligence theory. Neuro-Linguistic Programming can also be very helpful for stress management and developing self-belief and assertiveness and confidence. The empathic caring principles of NLP also assist the practical application of ethical and moral considerations (notably achieving detachment and objectivity), and using loving and compassionate ideas (simply, helping people) in work and life generally. These few examples illustrate the significance of NLP as a concept for personal and organizational development.

The experience of undergoing NLP training is a life-changing one for many people, and its techniques offer substantial advantages to people performing most roles in organizations:

  • Directors and executives
  • Managers at all levels
  • Sales people
  • Administrators
  • Engineering and technical staff
  • Customer care operatives
  • Receptionists
  • Secretarial staff
  • Trainers
  • HR and counselling staff

NLP techniques help particularly by making it possible for people to:

  • Set clear goals and define realistic strategies
  • Coach new and existing staff to help them gain greater satisfaction from their contribution
  • Understand and reduce stress and conflict
  • Improve new customer relationship-building and sales performance
  • Enhance the skills of customer care staff and reduce customer loss
  • Improve people's effectiveness, productivity and thereby profitability


nlp operational principles

NLP consists of a set of powerful techniques for rapid and effective behavioural modification, and an operational philosophy to guide their use. It is based on four operational principles, which below these headings are explained in more detail.

1. Know what outcome you want to achieve. (See nlp principle 1 - achieving outcomes.)

2. Have sufficient sensory acuity (acuity means clear understanding) to know if you are moving towards or away from your outcome (See nlp principle 2 - sensory awareness.)

3. Have sufficient flexibility of behaviour so that you can vary your behaviour until you get your outcome. (See nlp principle 3 - changing behaviour.)

4. Take action now. (See nlp principle 4 - time for action)

It is important to have specific outcomes. Many people do not have conscious outcomes and wander randomly through life. NLP stresses the importance of living with conscious purpose. In order to achieve outcomes it is necessary to act and speak in certain ways. NLP teaches a series of linguistic and behavioural patterns that have proved highly effective in enabling people to change the beliefs and behaviours of other people.

In using any of these patterns NLP stresses the importance of continuous calibration of the person or people you are interacting with in order to see if what you are doing is working. If it is not working it is important to do something different. The idea is to vary your behaviour until you get the results you want.

This variation in behaviour is not random. It involves the systematic application of NLP patterns. It is also important to take action, since nothing ever happens until someone takes the initiative. In short, NLP is about thinking, observing and doing to get what you want out of life.

nlp principle 1 - achieving outcomes

The importance of knowing your outcome cannot be stressed enough. Many people do not have conscious outcomes. Others have no idea what they want but know what they don't want. Their life is based on moving away from those things they don't want. NLP stresses the importance of moving towards those things you want. Without outcomes life becomes a process of wandering aimlessly. Once an outcome is determined you can begin to focus on achieving that outcome.

NLP lists certain well-formedness conditions that outcomes should meet. The first of these is that the outcome needs to be stated in positive terms. This means that the outcome must be what you want and not what you don't want to happen. Outcomes must be capable of being satisfied. It is both logically and practically impossible to give someone the negation of an experience. You can't engage in the process of 'not doing'. You can only engage in the process of doing.

The second well-formedness condition for outcomes is that the outcome must be testable and demonstrable in sensory experience. There must be an evidence procedure. Unless this is the case, there is no way to measure progress towards the achievement of the outcome. With an evidence procedure for the outcome it is possible to determine whether or not you are making progress towards achieving the outcome.

Third, the desired state must be sensory specific. You must be able to say what you would look like, sound like and feel like if you achieved the outcome.

Fourth, the outcome or desired state must be initiated and maintained by the subject. This places the locus (ie position) of control and responsibility for achieving the outcome with the subject and not with someone else. It is not a well-formed outcome when someone else does something or changes in some way. All you can do is have an outcome in which you can change yourself or your behaviour so as to bring about a change in someone else.

Fifth, the outcome must be appropriately and explicitly contextualised. This means that outcomes must not be stated as universals. You must never want either 'all the time' of 'never', but only under specific circumstances. In NLP we always strive to create more choice and never to take choice or reduce the number of possible responses. The goal instead is to make the choices or responses available in the appropriate circumstances.

Sixth, the desired outcome must preserve any positive product of the present state. If this is not the case then symptom substitution may occur.

Seventh and finally, the outcome or desired state must be ecologically sound. You should consider the consequences for yourself and for other people and not pursue outcomes that lead to harm to yourself or other people.

nlp principle 2 - sensory awareness

Once you know your outcome you must next have sufficient sensory acuity to know if you are moving towards it or not. NLP teaches the ability to calibrate or 'read' people. This involves the ability to interpret changes in muscle tone, skin colour and shininess, lower lip size and breathing rate and location. The NLP practitioner uses these and other indications to determine what effect they are having on other people. This information serves as feedback as to whether the other person is in the desired state. An important and often overlooked point is to know to stop when the other person is in the state that you desire.

nlp principle 3 - changing behaviour

The third operational principle of NLP is to vary your behaviour until you get the response you want.

If what you are doing isn't working, then you need to do something else. You should use your sensory acuity to determine if what you are doing is leading you in the desired direction of not. It what you are doing is leading towards your outcome, then you should continue. If, on the other hand, what you are doing is leading away from your goals, then you should do something else.

nlp principle 4 - time for action

The fourth and final operational principle of NLP is to take action now. There is no place for the slogan 'Complacency rules, and I don't care.' NLP is about taking action now to change behaviour for yourself and for others, now and in the future. So, to use another catchphrase: 'Don't delay; act today.'

nlp presuppositions

There are certain presuppositions underlying NLP. These are things that are presupposed in effective communication. Some of these are as follows. Below these headings each presupposition is explained in more detail.

1. The meaning of a communication is the response you get.

2. The map is not the territory.

3. Language is a secondary representation of experience.

4. Mind and body are parts of the same cybernetic system and affect each other.

5. The law of requisite variety (also known as the first law of cybernetics - cybernetics is the science of systems and controls in animals, including humans, and machines) states that in any cybernetic system the element or person in the system with the widest range of behaviours or variability of choice will control the system.

6. Behaviour is geared towards adaptation.

7. Present behaviour represents the very best choice available to a person.

8. Behaviour is to be evaluated and appreciated or changed as appropriate in the context presented.

9. People have all the resources they need to make the changes they want.

10. 'Possible in the world' or 'possible for me' is only a matter of how.

11. The highest quality information about other people is behavioural.

12. It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self.

13. There is no such thing as failure; there is only feedback.

nlp presupposition 1 - meaning equals response

In communication it is usually assumed that you are transferring information to another person. You have information that 'means' something to the other person and you intend for the other person to understand what it is you intend to communicate.

Frequently a person assumes that if they 'say what they mean to say', their responsibility for the communication is over. Effective communicators realise that their responsibility doesn't end when they finish talking. They realise that, for practical purposes, what they communicate is what the other person thinks they say and not what they intend to say. Often the two are quite different.

In communication it is important what the other person thinks you say and how they respond. This requires that the person pays attention to the response they are getting. If it is not the response they want, then they need to vary their own communication until they get the desired response.

There are several major sources of 'misunderstanding' in communication. The first arises from the fact that each person has a different life experience associated with each word in the language. Frequently, what one person means by a word (their complex equivalence for that word) may be something different from what another person means by it. The second misunderstanding arises from the failure to realise that a person's tone of voice and facial expression also communicate information, and that the other person may respond to these as much as they do to what is said. As the old saying goes: 'Actions speak louder than words,' and in NLP people are trained that when the two are in conflict, the person should pay more attention to the actions.

nlp presupposition 2 - map and territory

Good communicators realise that the representations they use to organise their experience of the world ('map') are not the world ('territory').

It is important to distinguish between several semantic levels. First there is the world. Second comes the person's experience of the world. This experience is the person's 'map' or 'model' of the world and is different for each person. Every individual creates a unique model of the world and thus lives in a somewhat different reality from everyone else. You do not operate directly on the world but on your experience of it. This experience may or may not be correct. To the extent that your experience has a similar structure to the world it is correct and this accounts for its usefulness.

A person's experience, map, model or representation of the world determines how they will perceive the world and what choices they will see as available to them. Many NLP techniques involve you changing your representation of the world to make it more useful and to bring it more into line with the way the world actually is.

nlp presupposition 3 - language and experience

Language is a secondary representation of experience.

Language is at a third semantic level. First is the stimulus coming from the word. Second is the person's representation of experience of that stimulus. Third is the person's description of that experience by way of language. Language is not experience but a representation of it. Words are merely arbitrary tokens used to represent things the person sees, hears or feels. People who speak other languages use different words to represent the same things that English speakers see, hear or feel. Also, since each person has a unique set of things that they have seen, heard and felt in their lives, their words have different meanings from each of them.

People are able to communicate effectively to the degree that these meanings are similar. When they are too dissimilar, problems in communication begin to arise.

nlp presupposition 4 - body and mind affect each other

Mind and body are parts of the same cybernetic system and affect each other. There is no separate 'mind' and no separate 'body'. Both words refer to aspects of the same 'whole' or 'gestalt', They act as one and they influence each other in such a way that there is no separation.

Anything that happens in one part of a cybernetic system, such as a human being, will affect all other parts of that system. This means that the way a person thinks affects how they feel and that the condition of their physical body affects how they think. A person's perceptual input, internal thought process, emotional process, physiological response and behavioural output all occur both simultaneously and through time.

In practical terms, this means that a person can change how they think either by directly changing how they think or by changing their physiology or other feelings. Likewise, a person can change their physiology or their emotions by changing how they think. One important corollary of this, which will be explored later, is the importance of visualisation and mental rehearsal in improving the conduct of any activity.

nlp presupposition 5 - widest range of behaviours or choices controls the system

Control in human systems refers to the ability to influence the quality of a person's own and other people's experience in the moment and through time.

The person with the greatest flexibility of behaviour - that is, the number of ways of interacting - will control the system. Choice is always preferable to no choice, and more choice is always preferable to less choice. This also relates to the third general principle of NLP, mentioned previously. This principle is that a person needs to vary their behaviour until they get their desired outcome. If what you are doing is not working, vary the behaviour and do something else. Anything else is better than continuing with what doesn't work. Keep varying your behaviour until you find something that works.

nlp presupposition 6 - behaviour and adaptation

Behaviour is geared towards adaptation. A person's behaviour is determined by the context in which that behaviour originates.

Your reality is defined by your perceptions of the world. The behaviour a person exhibits is appropriate to their reality. All of a person's behaviour, whether good or bad, is an adaptation. Everything is useful in some context. All behaviour is or was adaptive, given the context in which it was learned. In another context it may not be appropriate. People need to realise this and change their behaviour when it is appropriate to do so.

nlp presupposition 7 - present behaviour is the best choice

Behind every behaviour is a positive intent. A person makes the best choice available to them at any moment in time, given who the person is and based on all their life experiences and the choices they are aware of. If offered a better choice they will take it.

In order to change someone's inappropriate behaviour it is necessary to give them other choices. Once this is done they will behave accordingly. NLP has techniques for providing these additional choices. Also, in NLP we never take away choices. We only provide more choices and explicitly contextualise the existing choices.

nlp presupposition 8 - context of behaviour

You need to evaluate your behaviour in terms of what you are capable of becoming. You need to strive to become all that you are capable of being.

nlp presupposition 9 - resources to change

People have all they need to make changes they want to make. The task is to locate or access those resources and to make them available in the appropriate context. NLP provides techniques to accomplish this task.

What this means in practice is that people do not need to spend time trying to gain insight into their problems or in developing resources to deal with their problems. They already have all the resources they need to deal with their problems. All that is necessary is to access these resources and transfer them to the current time frame.

nlp presupposition 10 - the how of possibility

If any other human being is capable of performing some behaviour, then it is possible for you to perform it, too. The process of determining 'how' you do it is called 'modelling', and it is the process by which NLP came into being in the first place.

nlp presupposition 11 - behaviour speaks louder than words

Listen to what people say but pay more attention to what they do. If there is any contradiction between the two then rely on the behaviour. Look for behavioural evidence of change and don't just reply on people's words

nlp presupposition 12 - distinguish behaviour and self

It is useful to make a distinction between behaviour and self. In other words, just because someone 'screws up' on something it doesn't mean that they are a 'screw-up'. Behaviour is what a person says, does or feels at any moment in time. This is not a person's self, however. A person's self is greater than their behaviours.

nlp presupposition 13 - feedback, not failure

It is more valuable for a person to view their experience in terms of a learning frame than in terms of a failure frame. If a person doesn't succeed in something, that doesn't mean they have failed. It just means that they have discovered one way not to do that particular thing. The person then needs to vary their behaviour until they find a way to succeed.

nlp techniques and definitions

NLP consists of a set of powerful techniques to effect change. Some of these techniques are as follows, with their definitions:

anchoring

The process of associating an internal response with some external trigger so that the response may be quickly, and sometimes covertly, reaccessed by activating the trigger.

anchors

These may be naturally occurring or set up deliberately. They may be established in all representational systems and serve to control both positive and negative internal states.

stacking anchors

The process of associating a series of events with one specific anchor so as to strengthen the intensity of the subject's response to a specific anchor.

collapsing anchors

A process of neutralising negative states by triggering two incompatible responses at the same time.

chaining anchors

A process by which a series of anchors is created to lead from an undesired state through a series of intermediate states to a desired state.

associated state

Being fully present in a state so as to experience the kinesthetics of it. For past states this involves being in the experience looking from the perspective of the person's own eyes.

dissociated state

Recreating a past experience from the perspective of an onlooker or observer. This means the person does not re-experience the original emotion but instead experiences the emotions of an observer.

double kinesthetic dissociation

The process of watching yourself watching a film of a past experience. This is used in cases of phobias and extreme psychic trauma.

calibration

The process of reading a subject's internal responses in an ongoing interaction by pairing them with observable behavioural cues.

change history

A process of guiding a subject to re-experience a series of past situations by the use of selective anchoring. Resource states are developed for each situation and are installed in the subject's repertoire in order to change the significance of the past events.

rapport

The process of establishing a relationship with a subject that is characterised by harmony, understanding and mutual confidence. This is done by reducing to a minimum the perceived difference at the unconscious level.

reframing

A process used to separate a problematic behaviour from the positive intention to the internal part responsible for that behaviour. New choices of behaviour are established that maintain the positive intent but don't have the problematic by-products.

strategy

A set of explicit mental and behavioural steps used to achieve a specific outcome. This is represented by a specific sequence of representational systems used to carry out the specific steps.

submodalities

The subclassification of external experience. The decomposing into its components of a picture, sound or feeling.

This free NLP article is provided for this website by Robert Smith, and this is gratefully acknowledged. This material can be used freely for personal or organizational development purposes but is not to be sold or published in any form.

Robert Smith biography - Robert Smith MBA is a widely sought-after international consultant renowned for his enthusiastic motivational and forthright style. He is a Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, specialising in leadership development and 'Solution Focused' consultancy. He has over 20 years experience developing leaders in a wide range of settings. Robert's early years of consultancy were mainly working for IBM in Europe, Middle East and Africa on their leadership development programmes. Robert has a remarkable skill set including being a psychotherapist (UKCP registered) and is able, by using the latest psychological methods, to help people remove limiting beliefs relating to achievement and success. Robert has worked with the Motorola MBA intake programme and trained the United Nations peacekeeping force in Bosnia. He also worked closely with the British Foreign Office and the British Armed Forces, and has worked with many of the top organizations in the world including Cable and Wireless, the Civil Aviation Authority, Solvay Pharmaceuticals, TNT and Alstom. In more recent years Robert Smith has become a highly respected international trainer enabling the development of trainers, coaches, consultants and organizational leaders, across more than 40 different nationalities. He now runs a training centre in Turkey as well as maintaining training and coaching activities in the UK.

Robert can be contacted via email: robert-smith at freeuk.com, and also via his website treaclenlptraining.co.uk.